Typing in a Spanish hostel...
"Prague had cheap prices and was full of thieves. Barcelona has bloody expensive prices and twice the amount of thieves. Why are we here again?
"Well, OK, the weather IS pretty nice."
"OK, we've established that I can find my own backside with a map and compass - if and ONLY if I consult them every two minutes..."
"Spanish, Spanish, every channel I zap to. No wonder these people are so hopeless at English. Dubbing ruins them as kids."
"In Prague, most clubs were free to enter. In Barcelona, they cost money - but people are giving away get-in-for-free vouchers RIGHT OUTSIDE. Their little game of pretend lacks style."
"I think I prefer dubstep in its honest, mindbogglingly ALIEN form, rather than when it butchers some poor unsuspecting song and wear its ill-fitting skin.
"...Truly, it's the Excrucian Warmain of music genres."
"AGAIN with the dancers."
"...Well, now that they've sent out the dancing GUY in skimpy clothes and high heels, at least they are degrading both sexes EQUALLY. That's progress, of a sort.
"He's GOOD, I admit - pity I don't feel like learning any dance moves requiring heels."
"No, I don't want sandwiches, water, or ANY recreational drug."
"Lady, it's not pronounced "Sehss". It's "sex", S-E-K-S. If you're going to indecently proposition me, do it right. Now say it with me..."
"Hey bro, Spain has THE best medical system. You sure picked the right spot to have health troubles..."
"You know, this trip through Europe may not do much for my faith in humanity, but Holy MOLY is it excercising my sense of acerbic wit..."